A Session of Sessions One Crazy Crossover
by TheWidgitMachine
Summary: Definetly not your average fanfic. A cross over with mostly my characters in it. This is the work of a few years ago, when my head was more intact than it is now. If you enjoy reading my work, then that's cool. Read and Review. If not, that's too bad.


BEBOPIN' IT! WOO-HOO! cough

Sorry.

Well, yeah. Obviously, this is my Bebop fanfic (yay). Spike's been, er, DEAD for a long time now. WE bring him back.

But, just because time has passed, doesn't mean we don't see Faye, Jet, Ed, and Ein anymore. Ein, the super-dog, is brought to the future (find out _how_ later), and Ed the Fourth is now our Ed the Seventh (a few generations later). Lots of cool things will happen, one including time-travel. Why?

Because I can! Bwahaha! cough-cough

_Sorry_.

Yeah, well, we'll ressurect Julia sometime later (bleh just for you Julia-lovin'guys out there (or gal-lovin'-gals out there)... But Tiamat won't take it lightly. She's read about their past (as inscribed in _Great Bounty Hunters_ and (In the "Legendary" series_) Red Dragon: A Chinese Mafia_) and finds that Julia was quite a !

Okay, I was just kidding about the books (they're memoirs really. Of who yet, I'm not sure). But still, Julia's a no good, two-timing, double-crossing, two-bit ... (Yeah, you get it) But, Spike loves her .

That's probably the only good thing about her.

Tiamat: Otherwise, I'd've shot her with the Jericho 941. Which is probably how she will die AGAIN. And this time, STAY dead.

Bwaha. I love to Julia-bash. (bash, bash, bash-- could I get a bigger stone?) Have fun.

Oh, and the **DISCLAIMER: **I don't own Cowboy Bebop, and probably never will during the span of my life (which just might be a very, _very _good thing).That's strictly Shinichiro Wantanabe. So _there_. P

**Session One:**

**Dead Man Walking**

"Restoration Process: 97. . . 98. . . 99. . . Restoration 100. Restoration Process Complete. Optimising--"

"Yeah yeah, _shaddup_."

Tiamat furrowed her brow as she continued pacing around the labratory table.

"How's the body?" asked Chori.

"It's fine, Chori," Tiamat grumbled, "Just like it had been the _last_ time you asked. . . _three minutes a-go_."

Tiamat was very disgruntled at the moment. She, along with a bunch of friends she'd rather call subordinates at the moment, had been stuck in that rundown underground labratory for almost a full fourty-eight hours, working on a theoretical experiment that would prove to be a huge waste of time if it wasn't sucessful. Furthermore, even if she _was _head of the project, it sucked in many different ways. Sure, she was allowed to dispatch commands that were to be followed without a moment's hesitation, but she herself hadn't been allowed to leave throughout the whole process.

All fourty-six-and-a-half hours of it.

Unlike the others, she hadn't been allowed to check out at the end of the day and go to sleep. She was stuck in the labratory with a dried-up corpse day in and day out for almost two whole days. And without access to coffee, sugar, or any other caffeine of any kind, she was pretty ruffled. And to top it off, it was very late, and it was the perogative of sleep-deprived people to be grumpy. So she had an excuse to lash out at people.

Not to mention that, with all of the explosions going on on the ground level, it was pretty annoying to have to dodge loosened, swinging pieces of metal every once in a while as well. Getting hit by them could prove to be a real problem. It was quite unfortunate that Earth's atmosphere was the only atmosphere that could handle this sort of thing, with the natural oxygen and everything.

It was also unfortunate that Earth was also the battle ground for the war between Io and Pluto, but it would probably explain the sudden bouts of gunfire and flying shrapnel that would sometimes find its way inside. But for now, it was around midnight, so things were particularly quiet.

"Hey, look. . . everybody, I'm going to need you all to clear out for now. I think all of these people might confuse him. Ed, you too. You look a little like the Fourth... Might scare him or something. Zeph, would you mind staying back?" she asked, but Zephyr was already at the console.

Frost was melting off the stands of his mossy green hair, sliding down like tears. All he did was inhale, exhale and blink a couple of times as patches of skin re-covered his ivory bone. After that, his skin, which seemed to be infected with Argeria but was really just a few years of decay, started to regain a somewhat lively, fleshy pink. It wasn't perfect yet, but it was better than looking like death.

His two-toned brown eyes crossed Tiamat several times, but settled on her only when she spoke. A flash of bright yellow caught the corner of his eye, as the rest where clearing out of the lab.

"Julia?" he asked the blonde-headed Iris. Iris blink once or twice before Zephyr motioned Chori and Junishi, the only few still remaining in the lab, to usher her out. The both of them meant to grasp her arms and drag her out, heels dragging across the tile, but Tiamat waved a hand at them, dismissing the notion.

"No, wait. Iris stays here. And where's that "super-dog" of yours? Ed?" asked Tiamat, looking around.

"You told Ed to leave, remember?" asked Junishi, leaning on the doorframe.

"Well, go get her and the dog, would you?" sighed Tiamat, irritatedly. It wasn't the people that were irritating her, but working on such a project that was so delicate that one screw-up could sweep them all off of the face of the Earth, working straight through 48 hours without as much as a single cup of coffee really did wonders to one's tolerance level. Not to mention that the staff wasn't as dedicated to this project as much, and that the fact that they were doing this on the meteor-beaten, rocky pulp of an Earth, that was currently a battle field.

Hell, why couldn't they just go fight on Titan again or something?

Oh yeah. That's right.

Earth's a bloody rock-pulp. (_WHY NOT SCREW IT UP SOME MORE!_)

Chori and Junishi just shrugged, but followed everyone out as they rushed to where they were supposed to be or to what they were supposed to get. Chori, accompanied by Junishi and Inuki, returned a few minutes with the dog (who seemed to have been just woken up), and placed it on the control panel for Zephyr to deal with.

"Stupid head," he muttered, "Come on, Ein, get up. I don't know how you could sleep through all of that noise, but. . ."

And with that, he took the sleep-deprived dog off of the panel and walked to the table, mumbling, "wakey-wakey, eggs and bacy, pup. . ." Chori gave him a strange look.

"Or something," he quickly added, ". . . whatever." Chori shook her head, muttering _pathetic._

"Lay off, Chori," said Junishi, before Zephyr could respond, "He's one of Ed's friends. That means he's _allowed_ to be crazy." The both of them looked over at Tiamat to see if they could get a laugh from her, but she was busy with _not_ paying attention at the moment. They exchanged glances.

"Can it, Chori," Zephyr said flatly.

"I didn't _say_ anything. . ." she repsoned, rolling her eyes innocently.

"I said, _shut up_."

"_You_ shut up, Zeph!" Junishi snapped, "You can't tell Chori to shut up!"

"I can tell whoever I want to shut up. . . _so shut up_!" Inuki started growling, and barked at him angrily.

"Shut up, dog!"

"Don't tell my dog to _shut up!_"

"You shut up!" Inuki barked again.

"No, _you_ shut up!"

"You can't talk to me that way!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Nobody seems to be giving in to eachother, and you're all giving me a headache. . ."snarled Tiamat, her voice rising,  
"So why don't you _all_ shut up?" She grumbled, rubbing a vein that was throbbing in her temples. Inuki opened her muzzle to bark, but Tiamat shot a glare at the dog.

"Start with me, dog, and I turn you into a Alsatian bathrug," she hissed. Inuki, knowing the _real_ meaning of Alsatian, lowered her ears and crept slowly into a corner. It was Chori's turn to try and talk back, but Tiamat was much quicker.

"I could use a pair of dog-demon slippers to go with my new bathrug if you care to retort, Chori," she spat. Chori's eyes widened, and she backed down. Normally, Chori wouldn't see this as much of a threat, but a sleepless, mad-scientist-like Tiamat was something not to be trifled with. She really did believe she would skin them alive and use them as footwear.

Well, use _her _as footwear. Her dog was going to be a bathrug. She dare not think of what would happen to the other two if they crossed her. It was too bloody, even for a demon.

"Now," snapped Tiamat, turning on all of them, "I suggest you children play nicely, or you go play _outside_. Is that _understood?_" Zeph turned back to the screen, annoyed, and said nothing more. The girls backed down as well, but gave him menacing glares behind his back.

"I didn't get any replies. . . I'm not talking just to hear myself talk," Tiamat hissed, "Is that _clear_?" She was using one of those dark and highly annoyed throaty voices that seemed more frightening than what she'd normally sound like.

"Crystal," they all muttered darkly.

"Sheesh, you sound like my mom," Zephyr muttered. It was a stupid thing for him to say, but Chori and Junishi thought the same thing. They were just glad Zeph pointed it out first.

Better him than them.

"What was that, Zeph? You'd like to go play in the radiation fields _without_ a hazmat suit?" Zephyr growled deep in his throat and said nothing else. Tiamat turned back to the body, which had been watching their reactions throughout this whole time. Either he

was very interested, or just needed something to do.

Raven-haired Alix and a very ruffled-looking Yamikami entered the room while Tiamat and Iris stood around the opperating table, avoiding their heads from being severed from swinging pieces of metal that had loosened in the upper atmosphere explosion. All the while, all were observing his every movement.

In other words, they stared at him, and he stared right back.

Tiamat took a deep breath and asked him polietly to sit up. Ice crackled and fell on the tile floor, shattering to even tinier, melting pieces when he sat up, shaking tremendously. The towel (wrapped waist and down) seemed to be doing nothing for him.

"_It lives_," said Yamikami simply.

"Don't be dense. He's a _he_, not an _it._"

"And I'm a _she_," said Alix randomly. She nodded her head very seriously.

"We're not quite sure what _you _are," muttered Tiamat darkly. Alix stuck her blew a rasberry behind her back while Yami chuckled silently. Tiamat decided to ignore her two cohorts and turned to the computer console, where Zeph was twidling his thumbs, doing absolutely nothing. "Did you get that Zeph? Hearing seems to be ostensible. Recognition of commands seems to be a-okay." The amethyst-haired boy nodded and tapped the keyboard a few times, typing in the newest set of stats.

The subject blinked. His former articles of clothing lay bundled haphazardly together on a plastic chair in the corner. He recognizd them as the colors black and yellow. . . a _dark _blue, and a _faded _yellow, to be more specific. He noticed they were tinged with a disgusting, crusty-looking black, and wondered what it was.

While his body was resorted to what it was (you know, before he died), a towel was wrapped around his brittle and corroded remains. The clothes on the chair were threadbare and a bit filthy (okay, they were absolutely _ghastly_), and while his captors didn't seem to think it was fitting to keep him in them, he wanted them back. Sure, they weren't apt to be worn by anyone in their right mind, but hey -- they were his.

Either way, whether he would get them back or not, he wished he were wearing more than this skimpy blue towel.

The man looked around, and saw a red-headed girl staring at him. In fact, they were _all _staring at him. The thing about the cherise-haired one in the the corner, however, was that she was staring at him in a weird way. He felt she was scrutinizing him.

Which, by the way, she was.

He blinked for a third time, avoiding her eyes, wiping a bit of water out of his own.

"It seems like his instincts are fine," said Tiamat, catching his attention, "He didn't just let the ice run. Meaning that his nervous system must be working, too. So far, so _good_. Chori, stop making eyes at him."

"But he's so _cy-ute_. . ." she sung. Tiamat muttered something dark and shook her head, regaining her focus on the experiment.

"What is your name? Do you remember?" she asked him.

"My name?" he asked, and seemed to rub his hands on his bare sides. Everyone in the room just watched him curiously. Even Ein and Inuki seemed intrigued. He continued to do so, then look down at his sides. He looked around frantically his darting from one side to another.

"Where the hell-- "

"Spike Speigel. You have been fined ten Woolongs for the missuse of the illegal speaking conduct," chirped the half-broken LawScanner on the wall. Crackling and spitting with orange electrical sparks, a ticket began to emerge from a vertical slot on its side, but a foot met it halfway out, completely breaking it. The machine blathered out a few disjointed words before shutting down completely.

Three girls had just come into the room. The one called "Spike" looked at it, then at the new arrivals. He blinked curiously, as all confused people would.

"I've always hated the stupid laws on this planet," grumbled the first, as the other two passed her and walked to the table, and began examining him more closely.

"It's about time you came back, you idiot. Eva, what'dya get?" Evangeline shrugged off the insult, as it was pretty much the usual form of greeting, and stepped forward. Earlier, she had been sent to sneak out into the evacuated city to loot a clothing store. She'd been gone from the start of the restoration process, which had been a little more than two hours ago. She had probably been looting every store in the mall.

Eva loved to go looting as much as she loved to shop, and the biggest stores were conveniently located in her destination mall, The Esplanage . . .

"He looks cute, eh Minerva?" said the second girl who entered the room. Chori rolled her eyes; she hated it when she had things in common with these two. . .

"Yeah, he sure does, Tena" agreed the third. They both laughed a little while Spike turned away. If they were people he knew, he'd retort something horribly nasty, making them back off. But, these were new people. . .

Everything was new. And it made him über uncomfortable.

"Shut it, _Tena and Minerva_, and go check on your sister,"

"Who?" they asked, "Cassie, Iris, or Andi?"

"You might want to check on all three of them. Honestly, I can't _believe_ your mom named you all after Greek myths."

"Casseopia, Iris, Andromeda, Athena, and Minerva," said Yamikami, and let out a long whistle, "And even more I can't think of off of the top of my head. _Damn._"

"You forgot Clymentestra and Halycone," said Minerva, "They're our oldest sisters."

"And our cousins Artemis, Cassandra, and Diana," said Atena, "Though I don't really think they count."

"Isn't little Zephy our cousin, too?" asked Minerva. Zeph grumbled.

"I am _Cassandra's brother_," he spat, "And as far as I'm concerned, I'm still dead to the fact the I'm related to _you two_. _Especially_ after that little crash-landing outside of my school -- _never again_."

"Now that's not nice, Zephy," pouted Minerva playfuly, and laughed. Zephyr frowned and turned back to the console.

"Well, it's not like we meant it," countered Athena, "It's not like we're _stupid_ or anything."

"Surprised the hell out of me," Alix muttered. Athena shot her a threatening glare.

"You've got to admit, though. You _did_ set yourself up for that one," snickered Zephyr.

"Just _go_, you two," Tiamat snapped, "_Now_." The twins shrugged, then left the lab, heading towards the lobby. She sighed and turned back to Eva.

"I'll reprimand you about being late later," she said, "Whatcha got in that mess?" She nodded to the pile of bags.

Eva was carrying dozens of bags and boxes of both plastic and paper (stripped, plain, zigzagged, dotted, and logo-patterned), and dropped them all on the floor with a soft, bouncy clatter. She began her search by sorting through them with her foot, kicking away various things gently. She grinned when she found the bag she was looking for and stuck a foot through the loopholes and brought it up to her grasp.

It was a sharply creased, gray plastic bag with a picture of a blue polka-dotted tie on the bag. Tiamat gave her a stale look.

"The _Shirt and Tie_ Store? Eva, ...it's the year _2131_. Couldn't we be a little _more--_?" started Tiamat, but Eva was one step ahead of her.

"Nah, sorry," she muttered, and kicked it aside, "That's for my older brother or something... 'Mom said something like a birthday or somewhat... that liar, 'takin' advantage of my mom's absent-mindedness--"

"Get to the point," grumbled Tiamat.

"His birthday was _last _month, so, being the evil master mind that I am, I came up with a nefarious scheme." Eva smiled brightly. Tiamat slapped her hand against her forehead.

"I'm trying to find the logic here." Eva face-faulted.

"She got him a boring old tie just to spite him," explained Alix. Eva got to her feet and nodded.

"Looks like. It nothing compared to _his_ snazzy one, though," said Eva, and she bent down to tug a plain (yet molded) dark blue tie that hung loosely over the edge of a plain overstuffed chair that didn't seem to fit the decor at _all_ (overstuffed chair with a side of test tubes and beakers?). Spike looked at the scrap of fabric she called a tie more closely. It _was_ his.

The thing you needed to understand about Eva, however, was that she only commented. It was rare that you would compliment anyone, even if they'd previously been dead for the past few years.

"I don't think _snazzy_ is really the word that depicts his tie," said Ed flatly, "It is not flashy. It is as boring as the one you bought your stupid-head older brother." Eva glared at Ed while Spike blinked, completely missing the point that he (or his boring tie) had just been insulted.

"Way to get sarcasm, Ed," Eva spat.

Again, it was _comment_, not _compliment_.

"Sor-_ry,_" shrugged Ed, and went back to her typing, muttering darkly. "Talk about fires and frying pans." Eva rolled her eyes.

"I think that's the misuse of the phrase, Ed," said Chori.

"Shut up, Chori," snapped Ed.

"Let's not start this _again_," she said sharply, before Chori could open her mouth, "Eva, let's see what else you've got."

"So yeah, anyway," said Eva slowly, "Ah, here." She picked up a paper bag off to the side.

"This is the bounty hunters' new style. It came out last month."

"I didn't know bounty hunters had styles," said Yami, and reached down into the bag. The supposed _new fashion_ was a black tuxedo with a red carnation. For reference, refer to a spy's suit. . . without all the super cool gadgets that usually came with it.

"It's charming-- it's new-- and it distracts the bounty head to the point to where capture is a breeze!" said Eva proudly, soundly almost exactly like a commercial jingle. There was a round of facefaults all around, except for Ed, who asked simply, "What if the bounty's a guy?" Eva blinked.

"I hadn't thought of that," she repsonded, "Well, I guess we can only hope the guy's gay, then. . . "

"Where the hell did you GET such a hideous--"

"Hey!" Eva snapped, "It's not hideous! The cataloge said it was fabulously cool!"

"IDIOT GIRL! IT'S ONLY WHAT A PIECE OF PAPER SAYS!" shouted Tiamat hoarsly, "There's no way in _hell_ he's going to wear that!"

"Although I'd like to see him in it, I'd have to agree," said Chori, nodding, "It's not proper bounty wear. Going out in something like that would get him killed. _Then _where would we be?"

"Back where we started. With a fresher corpse, I guess," sighed Tiamat, "And besides, that's not _new_, you moron. That's over. . ." Ed pointed out the calculations for her.

"Over one-hundred years old. Like in the age of James Bondor something."

"Exactly," said Chori, as-a-matter-of-factly.

"What's a _James Bond_?" muttered Yamikami.

"Ancient Literature of the Earthlies," answered Inukami, entering the room, "He wore something like _that_, did a lot of spy stuff, and had an arch nemesis of the opposite color. I'm guessing if his suit was mostly black. . . than the nemesis wore white."

"That's Spy vs. Spy," corrected Zephyr.

"What's the difference?"

"They were a lot funnier, and killed a lot less people. _And_, _they_ wore trench coats."

"Ah."

"Good of you to join us, Inukami," said Tiamat, "A little late, but that's okay. At least the level of I.Q. in this room just went up a few digits." Eva hung her head low in false shame.

"Uh, thanks?" said Inukami, unsure. Tiamat had no time to insult Eva further, and went back to focusing on her subject once more.

"So, we've established you have a name," said Tiamat, "And it's still recognized. Either it scanned your DNA, or it's not connected to any recent databases. If it was, it would have known that you were dead--"

"_Were_ dead," corrected Junishi.

"That's what I _just _said."

"You didn't add emphasis to _were_. He _was_ dead."

"Fine, _sorry_," grumbled Tiamat, "If it was, it would have know you _were _dead (Junishi grinned innocently), and wouldn't have said anything, and passed it off just as a recording of Spike Spiegel, instead of the actual you."

"Or, it's just wonky," said Chori, in a very _Buffy_-like way.

"Sure, why not?" agreed Ed, "Earth contraptions were always stupid, in their own little way."

"Yes, the toaster incident. I remember," said Zephyr, "I told you not to stick the fork in it-- the toasted bread slice would've come out on its own."

"Since you can remember the name _Julia_ or whatever," continued Tiamat, ignoring the fact she'd been interrupted by stupidness yet _again_, "Is there anything else you can remember?"

"That's it." Tiamat blinked.

"Nothing. . . at all?"

"Nope," he replied. Tiamat furrowed her brows and frowned, tapping the side of his head twice. Then, she began yet another round of pacing alongst side the lab table. She'd been doing this often during the restoration process, but now it was purely out of the habit she'd formed doing so.

"It hurts to think," said Spike simply.

"I think Chori can relate," muttered Zephyr.

"You're one to talk," Chori muttered back.

"What was that, mutt!" he snarled. Chori twiddled her thumbs innocently and looked away, muttering, "_Nothing _. . . Nothing at all . . ." Tiamat rolled her eyes at her two bickering cohorts and shook her head.

"Well, if you can't remember information . . . can you remember what happened _here_?" she asked, and pointed a finger to his chest. Right over his heart was a pink slash that resembled a scar. It was a little thin and diagonal, so it couldn't possibly be a bullet hole. What was it then? Tiamat hadn't taken much into account on exactly _what_ had killed him, was impossible to tell right now.

"Hell, you've got a good eye," said Chori, astounded, "Not even _I_ saw that."

"I'm not surprised, since you were staring a little south of there," grumbled Junishi.

"And you _weren't_?" Chori growled, baring her fangs defensively.

"Play nice, bunny slippers," Tiamat grumbled. Chori snapped her mouth shut.

The wound still looked like it was fresh (it was a bright pink; almost as if it had just bled), but Tiamat knew better. It was decades old, and the coroner of his previous life had since cleaned up the wound. Upon closer examination would reveal the type of gun used by the attacker (or sword . . . or hell, even butterknife wedged in by a warhammer, as it could be _anything_ at this point), but Tiamat was quite sure that Spike would have to get used to himself being alive before he could allow her to do any more tests.

"Um, is there any possibility that I could get some of those clothes?" asked Spike, and shifted uncomfortably, tugging her towel haphazardly.

"Sure," said Eva brightly. She began to start digging through the bags, but Tiamat grasped her by the shoulder.

"Uh, maybe you should let someone _else_ do all of the clothes searching from now on," she said.

"Well, I guess I speak for everyone when I say," said Chori, "Welcome back from the _dead_."

Author's Note:

Okay. . . This was probably the only piece of thing I've gotten written so far that I've actually finished (yay, retarded applause), except for a few other chapters that have been started. It's going to be a fanfic series, yo.

Sorry about the tux thing. I was short on ideas at eleven-fourty-three at night.

As for Tena and Minerva. . . they're not main characters, so don't worry about them re-appearing. They were actually people I just put in there on the turn of a dime. It wasn't in the original I wrote a few years ago (probably a year or two, to be exact (it was on one of my old disks), so eh. . . Was I bored? Probably. It's a new day, and I don't frickin' remember. I don't like stopping where I did, but I ran out of stuff to do.

I'm just surprised I made it 13 pages. Hopefully, things won't be as stupid as they were in the future.

ciao

COMMENT (if you dare):


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